Have you ever noticed the person at the party or group that always has something to say? I don’t mean the person who is entertaining the group, but the one who make the small side remarks that are off putting or snide. These remarks are often sarcastic in nature and are intended to harm the person they are about. If you’re like me, you will dissociate yourself from people like this because they add to the caustic environment that doesn’t add value to your life. More importantly, have you ever been the one to make such a remark? For those who know me, you know I won’t be the one talking the most, but I will be the one listening and focusing on thinking before I speak.
There is a simple acronym that can be applied when assessing whether what you say should be shared:
Ask Is it….?
Putting thought into the things you say does several things. It adds to your credibility with others by saying things that truly add value to the conversation; you begin to say what you mean and mean what you say because you speak with authority that begins with your integrity; and when you’re speaking in line with your integrity, you’ll be sincere in what you say. This is how you can begin to effectively share your message, thoughts, opinions, and can step into your authentic self around others.
It’s not only what you say that will matter. It’s how you say it that is important. This is the core of thinking before you speak. Only when you identify who you are and where your integrity lies will you begin to effectively share what you have to say with sincerity. We’ve all met or known somebody who says one thing, but the tone of their voice and their body language tell a whole different story. The disconnect may be very subtle, but it’s devastating to the message if you’re not sincere. Think about how it made you feel when somebody told you one thing, but the vibe was another. It leaves you unsettled and possibly even more put out by that person. By thinking before you speak, you add the integrity and sincerity to your message that is essential to building credibility and to create relationships.
What have you said that you regretted? Did you make the effort to make amends? Let me hear from you! Leave a comment below and follow me on Twitter @alexdbarba!