Being proud of our accomplishments and using that inner power to pursue our goals and dreams is essential to continuous self-improvement; but it doesn’t give us the right to be an asshole about it. Using the term asshole may be crass, but it’s accurate to what others will say if we don’t know where to draw the line. We alienate the people around us and spread our ill feelings about others to others. It may pay to be at the top, but not when we’re alone.
The first key to not being an asshole is to think before you speak. In everyday conversations with people, there are ample opportunities to correct, analyze, and even one-up what they said. In each instance, what we add to the conversation isn’t of real value, it just belittles the person we’re talking to. Often times we don’t even realize we’re doing it. But it’s easy to remember when somebody else did it to us. What was your response? Mine is typically “what an asshole.” The emotion that follows is what drives us to forget about that person and move on. It’s our right to do so and I support that right. But remember, others will do it to us just as quickly.
Being proud of our accomplishments means we don’t have to apologize for our successes. It also gives us greater responsibility for not becoming arrogant and egotistical. It’s about self-promotion not aggrandizement. It’s a subtle difference in the language we use, but it’s major. Think about the bonus you received at work. When you tell people “I got a bonus!” they typically have a positive, supportive response. Imagine the difference in response if you gave a specific amount: “They paid me $[insert amount]!” There are numerous other ways we can share our accomplishments, but it’s how we share that with others that matter. It should always be listed in our accomplishments/goals/dreams book.
Practicing not being an asshole also means not being around them. They can range from family and friends to co-workers and bosses. Bottom line is that they are everywhere! In our quest of never-ending self-improvement, we don’t have to put up with these types of people. I am not ashamed or afraid to just write that person out of my life because they are being an asshole. Not just once, but habitual assholes are the culprits. We all have our moments when we’ve been less than cordial; that’s the time to apologize. Dealing with asshole co-workers and bosses can be difficult, but remember there is always the option to quit or change departments. If you choose not to quit, then there needs to be as much space between you and the asshole. Don’t let him or her bring you down.
What assholes have you encountered? How did you deal with it? Let me hear from you! Leave a comment below and follow me on Twitter @alexdbarba!