Rejecting rejections is a facet of knowing that it is not about us, but about the person rejecting us. It can be that we asked at the wrong time; remember, we reserve the right to say “no” and so do other people. The key to rejection is knowing that it’s an internal response that we feel when our hopes aren’t met. We can hope for hundreds of things and when they don’t come to fruition, it’s rejection. In order to continue on our paths to success, we have to learn to reject rejection.
Rejecting rejection is going to be easier said than done. The feeling of rejection is personal, even if it isn’t. Jack Canfield likens rejection to a myth. I think of it the same way as when I ask somebody a question. If the answer is yes, well then I am better off for asking. But, if I get a “no” (a rejection), then it becomes a matter of perspective. I wasn’t better off before asking the question, therefore I can’t be worse off after asking the question. I stayed in the same state. We can look at several examples:
- Ask somebody to a dinner date. You weren’t going to dinner with anybody before, so you’re not any worse off.
- Applies to grad school at Yale. You weren’t attending Yale before you applied and you’re not afterward.
When it’s time to move on from the rejection, remember the acronym SW.SW.SW.SW. Remind ourselves that Some Will, Some Won’t, So What, Someone’s Waiting. The internal dialogue we need to tell ourselves is “Next!” While I was working briefly for a call center, it was common to be rejected on the message that I was trying to share with people. I knew intrinsically that people’s outright rejection of my calls wasn’t personal to me. In fact, the sign on the wall reminded us that for every 5,000 people we called, we can only expect 5-10% “yes” responses. If that’s not rejecting rejection in action, I’m not sure what is.
Rejection is going to be most common when it comes to relationships. These rejections are different from the ones we will encounter on our path to our goals and dreams because they have a significant personal effect. It’s easier to not take something personally when it comes to tangible results or experiences like a job application or request. When it’s a personal rejection, it’s that much more important to remember everything we’ve covered throughout my posts. Sometimes the people we are closest to don’t always fit into the journey we are on and vice versa. It’s never easy, but with time and understanding, it can be a healthy form of acceptance.
When we’re you rejected? How did you feel? How did you move on to the next question? Let me hear from you! Leave a comment below and follow me on Twitter @alexdbarba!