We’ve seen it before and probably experienced it before. Holding a grudge against somebody because of something they may have done wrong is the worst way to handle ill feelings about somebody. More times than not, it’s something so silly that it’s embarrassing. We need to learn to let it go and have a talk. It’s time to be the bigger person and admit that something isn’t working and it needs to be addressed. By not dealing with it, we allow it to reside deep inside and can create resentment and anger. The fuming anger ball that overwhelms us commandeers our emotions and judgement. Take control before it does.
Holding a grudge is that ever-present pill that we swallow and expect the effects to harm the other person. We don’t know how long it’ll last, but we know we didn’t do anything wrong! Right? Well, odds are we’re just as culpable in the “grudge match.” Bottom line is that if it wasn’t some egregious act, then it’s silly and we need to get over it. Really assess as to why we’re so upset with the situation and if it’s worth it. By letting it go, we’re doing ourselves a favor.
Instead of holding it inside, take the extra effort and steps to talk to somebody; especially if we’re in conflict with somebody. Only by talking to them can we really find resolution and move on. It’s going to be uncomfortable, but remember the purpose of the talk: getting the conflict out on the table in order to better the relationship. The intent is not to hurt each others’ feelings, but to have a candid conversation about what’s wrong and where to go from here. If we’re not sure on what to say, rehearse the conversation we want to have in our head before hand. Really focus on visualizing what we want to say and how we want to say it. Ask for feedback from a close, trusted friend. Often times they might have insight or ask a question we never thought about that will change our entire perspective!
Holding a grudge? Why? What steps have you taken to resolve the issue? Let me hear from you! Leave a comment below and follow me on Twitter @alexdbarba!