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Learn from Your Parents

Mom and Pop

We don’t give enough credit to our parents for who we are as individuals and who we hope to be in the future. I am more reflective and thankful today than I ever have been about what amazing parents I have been blessed to have in my life. It’s become more prevalent to me since I moved away from Reno to Denver to follow a path I envisioned for myself for the last four years and none of it would be possible without my parents.

I’ve been going through the recruitment process with a reputable company over the last several months and I recently had a sit-down meeting with the managing partner of the office here in Denver and he asked me two of the best questions I have ever been asked. They weren’t particularly deep questions but they were simple and I’d never thought about them before: (1) What’s the most important thing you’ve learned from your mother? and (2) What’s the most important thing you’ve learned from your father?

They’ve been married for 25 years, have 3 idiot sons (I’m the middle), and a soon-to-be grandchild and this post is for them:

Mom

Mom

It’s difficult for me to put exactly what I want into words when discussing my mom (and my dad too). She’s been through a lot in the last couple of years and she’s handled it with more conviction and humility than anybody I have ever met. Behind the conviction and perseverance that I see in her, is her unwavering integrity and poise. It’s these qualities that she has bestowed upon me that I hold dear. To be a source of strength and compassion to foster an inner integrity beyond myself. It’s because of my mom that I have begun my own journey to make the world a better place by being a better person for not only myself, but for those around me.

The most important things I’ve learned from my mom is perseverance, integrity and compassion.

Dad

Pop

My dad is a big kid at heart. Some of the funniest and most memorable stories are because of him. I owe my personality to him. Through all of the hilarious “Jorge” moments, I am the man who I am today because of the father that he was when I was a child and still is as I enter a new phase of life. The amount of self-assurance and personal value that I recognize in myself is because of the qualities I saw in him. His dedication to my mom and our family has inspired me to discover a new level integrity so that I can become a loving husband and father like him.

The most important thing I’ve learned from my dad is responsibility, self-reliance and dedication.

With every great journey, there is a companion and my parents have been on this journey for over 25 years. Throughout my life I have had the example for what I want for myself. Each day that I struggle I have the best two people in the world to call for advice, guidance, and inspiration. I love my parents.

What have you learned from your parents? From you Mom? From your dad? When was the last time you spoke to your parents? Let me hear from you! Leave a comment below, subscribe to my blog and follow me on Twitter @alexdbarba!

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Posted by on February 7, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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Don’t Be an Asshole

Being proud of our accomplishments and using that inner power to pursue our goals and dreams is essential to continuous self-improvement; but it doesn’t give us the right to be an asshole about it. Using the term asshole may be crass, but it’s accurate to what others will say if we don’t know where to draw the line. We alienate the people around us and spread our ill feelings about others to others. It may pay to be at the top, but not when we’re alone.

The first key to not being an asshole is to think before you speak. In everyday conversations with people, there are ample opportunities to correct, analyze, and even one-up what they said. In each instance, what we add to the conversation isn’t of real value, it just belittles the person we’re talking to. Often times we don’t even realize we’re doing it. But it’s easy to remember when somebody else did it to us. What was your response? Mine is typically “what an asshole.” The emotion that follows is what drives us to forget about that person and move on. It’s our right to do so and I support that right. But remember, others will do it to us just as quickly.

Being proud of our accomplishments means we don’t have to apologize for our successes. It also gives us greater responsibility for not becoming arrogant and egotistical. It’s about self-promotion not aggrandizement. It’s a subtle difference in the language we use, but it’s major. Think about the bonus you received at work. When you tell people “I got a bonus!” they typically have a positive, supportive response. Imagine the difference in response if you gave a specific amount: “They paid me $[insert amount]!” There are numerous other ways we can share our accomplishments, but it’s how we share that with others that matter. It should always be listed in our accomplishments/goals/dreams book.

Practicing not being an asshole also means not being around them. They can range from family and friends to co-workers and bosses. Bottom line is that they are everywhere! In our quest of never-ending self-improvement, we don’t have to put up with these types of people. I am not ashamed or afraid to just write that person out of my life because they are being an asshole. Not just once, but habitual assholes are the culprits. We all have our moments when we’ve been less than cordial; that’s the time to apologize. Dealing with asshole co-workers and bosses can be difficult, but remember there is always the option to quit or change departments. If you choose not to quit, then there needs to be as much space between you and the asshole. Don’t let him or her bring you down.

What assholes have you encountered? How did you deal with it? Let me hear from you! Leave a comment below and follow me on Twitter @alexdbarba!

 
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Posted by on September 28, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

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